My Dear Son who died an untimely death .......

A Liturgy for a Canny Lad









Text Box: William Joseph Smith
19th July 1980 – 3rd December 2018








William died as graciously and bravely as he lived. We will miss his presence enriching our lives with wisdom, humour and grace.

The souls of the beautiful are in God’s hands. Their dying looks like disaster. Their leaving like annihilation. But they are at peace. Amen.

Here we are back in this beautiful place less than a year later to say farewell to my son, who was also brother, brother in law, uncle, nephew, cousin, friend, and partner.

A year ago William carried his mother’s casket to her resting place and now he is to lie next to her enfolded in her love and sharing her peace.

As his friend expressed it he was ‘the best wing man anyone could have’. And as other friend’s tributes suggest, his humour, commitment and loyalty were celebrated: one comment summed him up: ‘A modest, kind person, with a very cheeky glint in his eye’.

William enjoyed life to the full; and so much of what he enjoyed, he enjoyed sharing. He took me fishing on birthdays. He fixed the fells. He climbed and swam and travelled. He enjoyed fixing things and renovating houses so he learned to plaster, he learned Joinery.  He enjoyed time with nieces and nephews, with friends and family. He enjoyed watching Newcastle United. He earned his Coastal Skipper Ticket and learned to ride a motorbike like his Grandfather and me.

Song: Pressure Drop …..Toots and the Maytals

On the day he was born, his Mother, who having carried him for nine months, handed him to me saying, ‘You Carry Him for a while’. The Midwife asked me have you named him? Having three girls we had in fact named him in anticipation Isabel, with Robin or Julian as standby names, just in case.

 I said call hime William Joseph after my Father and Grandfather.

So William he was and Will he became and, born in Newcastle, he became our Canny Lad.

Willam's sister Molly Drake wrote: Mum taught her children well. She taught us to cook and sew, to be kind and generous. She taught us how to be humble and how to love one another deeply. She was funny and taught us to laugh and have fun together. From her, we learned to be brave and strong and how to live well and die with dignity.

William did indeed live well, he was kind, generous and always fun loving with a razor sharp wit which cut through the banality of life right to the end. He was brave and strong and died peacefully and with dignity just like his mum. We will miss him forever and can only carry on bravely until it's our turn to face death with courage, in the belief that we will be together again. 


Slowly, Then in a Hurry

Of course you're tired of what we're all tired of:
outrage and confusion, the future
coming to an end, and tired also
of feeling how little it matters to feel this way.


So, yes, go out into the woods,
where everything will appear
more sympathetic the barely opened
blue and yellow violets, the trilling of birds,
scurryings in the underbrush of small animals
who may be afraid because you're too close.

 Then the sun dazzles you into submission,
its radiance reminding you
of that white light those near death have said
beckoned and comforted them until
they woke, but wished to stay. So you leave

 the woods feeling no better, worried again
about the hopelessness of worry, and even
the clothes you're wearing, that scarf, for example,
as if its still-vivid colours might single you out
from the others on the street where now

 you may be standing, wondering if the man
walking toward you could have you alone
in mind. Yes, this might be death,
if this is what death looks like. Like anybody
coming your way, slowly, then in a hurry.

 Lawrence Raab The Life Beside This One Tupelo Press

Grief and loneliness threaten to destroy our confidence and our love of life, but you remain our hope and joy.

Song: Rise …… Eddie Vedder

Janet loved her children, as Mothers do, and she loved William. In the hospital on the night he died I found myself rehearsing words about a mother and child.

Please join me in this prayer today.

Hail Mary, full of grace
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death
(repeat)

As we honour William we commit ourselves for his name’s sake to live for each other and to make life not only bearable but joyful and triumphant for all who struggle and are afraid. We seek all we need for rejoicing. All we need for a hopeful and peaceable life. Fulfilment. Strength. A future, when we shall see those we love again.

So we commit William into the arms of love. In the hope that we will be united in the mystery of what is yet unseen and unknown but where we hope and pray for peace. For William Joseph Smith and for ourselves.

We ask that Grace and Love rest on William today and forever and we pray for ourselves that we will honour his memory in the way we live our lives.

Take courage, be confident and strong, go where you must go, do what you must do; shed tears, endure sorrow, live with loneliness; put your hope in the strength of family, human potential and a convivial future.

Song: Auld Lang Syne …… Salsa Celtica

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