In these dark times we live in fear of death ............

In these dark times we live in fear of death.

It is around us and it is unanswerable.

Last week an old friend of mine lost her husband, her daughter lives some way away and the funeral service was live streamed from the Crematorium. It feels impersonal, deeply sad, and brings with it little in the way of consolation.

Her husband died in a nursing home and so she was unable to be with him at the end, the Nursing Home staff were kindness itself but she tells me that grief washes over her 'like a tidal wave of emotion'.

There is little to be gained, it seems, from Jesus words in today's Gospel, 'Do not let your hearts be troubled'.

Jesus is speaking to His disciples as He faces his own death but today in the midst of this viral pandemic, we are all facing death or the death of a loved one or simply the massive numbers of deaths reported daily and fast approaching 35,000.

We have all had to discover within ourselves the inner resources to enable us to deal with the constant stress of living with this viral pandemic. Those of us who have pretty much always been able bodied may not have developed the inner resources to deal with the health-related fear that has inundated us all during this crisis.

I look back now on the years that I spent in retirement as a carer.

My wife Janet had Multiple Sclerosis a condition that meant that she needed a wheelchair, a stairlift and was completely reliant on me for daily support. I am sure now that if she had lived she would have had a wealth of resources to share. As her condition progressed and as she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer when I wheeled her out of Hospital at her request and against the advice of the Doctors I knew that I was bringing her home to die. I had to accept that I could not save her.

And so we began to make a home and find peace amongst the many unanswerable why's, and now, here in the midst of this viral pandemic we have to recognise that we cannot save ourselves. We can take precautions, face masks, PPE's, sanitizers, washing our hands, remaining socially distanced, staying home, but we are caught unable to answer the most basic questions.

Some people have resorted to conspiracy theories, some have blamed a slow response by the government, lab experiments gone wrong. 5G Masts. But now it is amongst us we know that we cannot prevent this virus, if we could we would have done it by now, instead we must live with the daily reminders of our vulnerability.

In the Gospel Jesus tells his disciples that they know the way to the place where he is going, that he will be with them and they will be with him.It seems important to believe that He is with us now in the midst of this viral pandemic. However the problem is that we are more likely to question like Thomas or Philip, 'we do not know where you are going or whether you are truly here now in this midst of this with us'. So Jesus reminds his disciples, 'I am the way, the truth and the life.

He challenges his disciples also with the testing question, if you do not believe me, then believe the works themselves. It is the same answer he gave to John's disciples when they asked was He the Messiah. This is why the actions that we have taken in this parish, the telephone tree, the grocery and prescription collection service, all that we do for our neighbours including the works of prayer and support and outreach help us to remain faithful when faith is challenged and help us to believe.

For many people including members of our own congregation the living and loving to be done these days is turning up as Paramedics, as Nurses, as Doctors.

For the rest of us there is the work of praying and honouring and naming the dead, facing up to grief and fear.

When I laid my dead to rest in the middle of the tsunami of grief that washed over me I found myself strangely convinced that the God who saves has been unleashed  on the world as love incarnate.

As the curate of Lower Brixham in Devon, Henry Francis Lyte wrote in a hymn that embodies the human craving for hope in extremis:

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide;
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.
Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see—
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.
I need Thy presence every passing hour;
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness;
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.
Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies;
Heav’n’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.
Our faith helps us to believe that love will conquer death. 
That love will find a way.

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